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Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
Dear Bev,
I work for a large asset management company and recently took over our sales support team. I now work closely with one of our longer-time product specialists; I’ll call him “Bill.” I see he has been negligent for the last two years in this role. When I mentioned there were some areas I felt he could improve, he became very angry. He told me that the guy who had my role before was “hands-off” and “trusted” him and now he is being persecuted by me. I looked in his file for notes from the former person in charge and everything there was glowing. His (very light) review describes him as a team player who helps wherever possible.
Since I’ve taken over sales support, Bill has missed several important meetings (including one directly with a client) with no excuse other than he “got busy with other things,” and he has neglected to follow through with one of our larger clients with information they were promised. The rest of the team has told me they won’t work with Bill because he is so unreliable. I wanted to have a frank discussion about areas for change, but Bill shut down on me immediately saying I have always been “out to get him.”
I have never had a close enough relationship with Bill to want to “get him,” but I have often wondered why he was allowed to get away with doing so little when others around him work very hard. The person who vacated the role before me was known around here as Mr. Nice Guy. He was the one who would let you leave anytime you felt stressed and didn’t require much from people when they were here. We have an in-office policy of three days per week, but it was never enforced so I am often here with just our office manager to talk to.
Am I doing the wrong thing to try and get Bill to be a better performer? This isn’t a low-level role; he makes over $150 thousand per. We are not based in a major city so this is a highly competitive salary. I don’t know where someone would go to replicate it in our area. Seems to me like Bill should care a lot more than he does.
D.K.
Dear D.K.,
Ah yes, the culture of nice. I’ve written about this phenomenon before but let me address some things in your case from a new angle. A culture of nice forms when you have management focused on harmony, positivity and pats on the back instead of on true coaching, performance measurement, management and necessary feedback. I see this in smaller teams and in larger companies like your own. An entire culture is built around being nice.
Nice sounds good. Personally, I prefer to win people over with positive influence wherever possible. The carrot usually works much better than the stick. However, when it leads to a complete abandonment of responsibility in managing people, holding them accountable, and helping them see where they need to shift their behavior to contribute more effectively to the team, it isn’t good for anyone. In order for any team member to improve, change and grow, they need to know what they are doing well and how to build upon this, and where they might be falling short so they can make shifts and improve.
But most managers have never been taught how to give effective feedback. In my graduate classes we work on feedback quite a bit, and in the coaching programs I have created for clients it is a core component. The human fallback position is to say, “Good job!” and leave it at that. Most managers don’t like to bring up anything that could cause conflict or be perceived as negative.
You are finding out why in your situation with Bill. You are trying to confront him, I assume, in a supportive and collaborative way, and he is pushing back on you hard about anything that could paint him in a negative light. This is because our experience with feedback is often very negative. If someone says, “Can I give you some feedback?” you prepare yourself to hear something you don’t want to hear.
A manager’s role is to build upon their employees’ strengths, help them see how they can improve in areas where they are already strong, and make shifts in areas that aren’t working as well for them. With Bill, there could be some truth in the review you read that said he is a team player who “helps out.”
It’s worth exploring with Bill where these comments came from. Ask him to share examples of what he did to earn these remarks. Then ask him if he thinks he is still displaying these qualities and to give examples of where he might be shifting his behavior away from what made him successful. It’s best to start with open-ended questions where you are truly curious in your approach. Don’t pounce on Bill when he admits an area of consideration. Don’t offer your viewpoint. Listen to him and find out what has changed.
This is the irony of the culture of nice. Managers think being “nice” means entirely avoiding the discussion. Yet what a true leader does (and it often can include being nice) is talk with team members in a curious and inquisitive way, and allow them to share their view and what they think they could be doing better.
If Bill doesn’t own any of his behaviors, you might have a case of performance management. This is also part of being the boss. Sometimes a person has been put in a role or given responsibilities that don’t fit their natural talents. Is it possible Bill is now being asked to do things he never was historically? Is it possible Bill never did the direct follow ups with clients because he thought someone else had done it? Is it possible Bill is dealing with personal issues he does not feel comfortable talking about in the workplace?
Rather than assume Bill is the problem, the nicest thing you could do is not drop this entirely as your predecessor may have done. Rather, learn more about Bill, the situation and the changes he may have gone through – and talk with him openly in a curious way to learn more about who he is and what’s happening with him.
Does this mean Bill is automatically going to turn around? No, and you might need to be ready to manage him out or find another role for him. First, decide that you will not cooperate with this existing culture. Take a different approach for Bill’s sake, for yours and for the entire team.
Dear Bev,
In my new role as team lead, I am expected to coach some of our newer team members and help them learn and grow in their roles. I don’t have my college degree (I went three years and stopped before I finished) and I haven’t had many management classes. Can you give me a couple of insights about how someone who never completed their degree but is responsible for team members with graduate degrees can counsel those team members?
H.G.
Dear H.G.,
This might be an opportunity for you to work a bit on your Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Who said because you don’t have the same educational background you don’t have something to offer to your team members?
Someone put you in this role because they believed you could contribute to the team in a meaningful way. I’m going to guess you are excellent at what you do, years more of experience than the people you are being asked to guide and care a lot about the team. Don’t let your lack of college degree prevent you from owning these aspects.
I teach graduate classes on managerial skills, leading teams and leadership. However, my mother grew up in poverty and could never have afforded to go to college. She started working in a bank out of high school and ultimately took over the commercial loan administration function. At times she had dozens and dozens of people working for her.
I can vividly remember going to the different banks she worked for and having her team members come up to me and share what an amazing boss she was for them. They would tell me she was nice, but not too nice; she held people accountable but not in a mean or difficult way; she treated people fairly and got to know who they were, what they were good at and what made them successful.
She never learned any of this from a book or from a class. She was smart and cared deeply about her job and the organization. She also cared about the people and helping them be the best they could be.
I share this because it is a gift to go to school and learn new ideas, and as a college professor I am a believer in formal education. But I’ve seen firsthand that someone can be a great mentor, teacher and leader without ever having the benefit of the degree. I want you to own my mom’s story and make it yours. You can do the exact same thing.
Consider your own strengths. How do you come across to your team members? Find ways to engage with them, not as a person telling them what to do, but as a leader helping to guide them and support them in becoming the best they can be.
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry, in 1995. The firm also founded and manages the Advisors Sales Academy. The firm has won the Wealthbriefing WealthTech award for Best Training Solution for 2022, 2023 and 2024. Beverly is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate and graduate students Entrepreneurship and Leading Teams. She is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.