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Dan’s new book for millennials, Wealthier: The Investing Field Guide for Millennials, is now available on Amazon.
The "ideal life" is often presented as a standard blueprint: abundant friendships, a wealth of experiences, financial security, and a loving family. Social media, self-help books, and financial planning resources frequently tout this vision as the ultimate goal.
This idealized version of life can be a harmful myth that can alienate many clients and impose unrealistic expectations.
The ideal life
You don’t have to look far to find the elements of an “ideal” life.
Key aspects commonly associated with it include:
Strong relationships: Close connections with family, friends, and community providing support, love, and companionship.
Health and well-being: Physical and mental wellness, characterized by regular exercise, a balanced diet, and good mental health practices.
Career satisfaction: A fulfilling career or vocation that aligns with personal passions and provides a sense of purpose and achievement.
Financial stability: Sufficient financial resources to meet needs and desires, allowing for a comfortable lifestyle without constant stress about money.
Rich experiences: Opportunities for travel, adventure, and learning, leading to personal growth and memorable moments.
Work-life balance: Enjoyment of leisure time and hobbies, ensuring that work does not overshadow personal life.
Personal growth: Continuous self-improvement and pursuing new skills, knowledge, or experiences that enhance one’s life.
Giving back: Engagement in community service or charitable activities, contributing to the greater good, and fostering a sense of connection and purpose.
Peace and contentment: A general sense of peace, acceptance, and gratitude for your life circumstances, regardless of external achievements.
It’s hard to argue with these goals, but:
- Are they suitable for everyone?
An unattainable standard
The concept of an "ideal life" is an unattainable myth for many due to social, cultural, and psychological factors. Here are some research findings related to the myth of an ideal life:
The loving family myth: The idealized image of the traditional loving family is largely unattainable for many, with the gap between reality and this ideal leading to dissatisfaction and even clandestine second lives for some.
Here’s a sobering statistic: By some accounts, 70%-80% of Americans consider their families “dysfunctional.”
The many friends myth: Urban environments can make it more difficult to form friendships due to feelings of fear and distrust. Newcomers to cities like New York report having fewer friends initially and more significant challenges forming meaningful connections than those in smaller towns, where social interactions are less impersonal.
Research has also identified numerous barriers to friendship, including low trust, lack of time, and introversion. These factors prevent many individuals from forming meaningful social connections. The most significant barrier, "low trust," significantly affects women, leading to difficulties establishing new friendships.
A 2020 study found that more than 60 percent of Americans feel lonely, with many reporting feelings of isolation and lack of companionship. Rather than having abundant friendships, the study found that loneliness was “epidemic” in the US.
The meaningful experiences myth: Older adults report fewer meaningful experiences after age 40. This lack of fulfilling events can lead to diminished life satisfaction and purpose, contributing to the perception that meaningful experiences are unattainable later in life.
The financial security myth: Many Americans approaching retirement (ages 51-61) are financially unprepared, burdened by debt, and lack sufficient retirement savings.
The health and well-being myth: Life expectancy in the U.S. is lower than that of other high-income countries, despite spending nearly 18% of its GDP on healthcare. This discrepancy highlights significant issues in health outcomes, including premature deaths and poor health.
Wealthier:
The Investing Field Guide for Millennials.
Why have so many financial advisors agreed to review an advance copy of Wealthier: The Investing Field Guide for Millennials. It empowers millennials to be responsible DIY investors and financial planners. You can see some of their reviews here.
Dan’s new book for millennials, Wealthier: The Investing Field Guide for Millennials, is now available on Amazon.
Here’s what one advisor said: "Saplings grow into trees. We need to help the next generation of investors get to where they need our services."
For more information, visit the website for Wealthier:
To review Wealthier send an e-mail to: [email protected]
The opioid crisis has led to increased mortality rates among white Americans, following earlier crises like the HIV and crack cocaine epidemics that disproportionately affected Black Americans. These health disparities have long-term consequences on overall well-being.
Nearly 75% of Americans perceive mental health issues as being handled worse than physical health. This disparity exacerbates the nation's collective trauma and stress.
The work-life balance myth: For many Americans, work-life balance is far different from reality.
One survey found that 43% of U.S. office workers feel burned out at work. Another found that almost one-third of all employees “always or very often” feels burned out. A third survey found that 77% of companies saw an increase in the number of employees who feel burned out. These surveys are discussed here.
The career satisfaction myth: The lack of growth opportunities is a major factor in job dissatisfaction, with nearly 23% of U.S. workers reporting this as a reason for low satisfaction.
Workers experiencing low job satisfaction often report higher levels of psychological distress, such as depression and anxiety, due to a lack of meaning in their roles.
Practical implications
Few advisors would find satisfaction in making clients feel inadequate, but that’s precisely what happens when you project the “ideal” lifestyle on them. Your job is to be sensitive to your client's definitions of success and happiness. Adhering to a conventional ideal risks imposing unsuitable aspirations on clients.
For example, you might assume that a client’s goal should be retirement, filled with travel and social engagements. However, for another client, the ideal retirement might involve a quiet life with a few close friends or a focus on personal projects.
Recognizing the diversity of values is crucial for meaningful financial planning. Create a space where clients feel free to express what genuinely matters to them.
Final thoughts
The "ideal life" is a harmful myth that can distort perceptions of success and happiness.
By recognizing different values and goals, you can foster a more inclusive – and realistic – understanding of what it means to lead a fulfilling life.
Dan coaches evidence-based financial advisors on how to convert more prospects into clients. His digital marketing firm is a leading provider of SEO, website design, branding, content marketing, and video production services to financial advisors worldwide.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
Here’s what one advisor said: "Saplings grow into trees. We need to help the next generation of investors get to where they need our services."