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Many of you will remember Michael Jackson’s song, Man in the Mirror. Just the mention of it starts the tune in my head. For the purposes of this article, focus for a minute on the words in the refrain and apply it to yourself. When you’re done singing, let’s regroup.
I'm starting with the man in the mirror I'm asking him to change his ways And no message could've been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place Take a look at yourself and then make a change
Ok, so why do I point this out? Obviously, it’s a powerful song. More importantly, the meaning of the words couldn’t be more poignant when it comes to getting more referrals. All too often, advisors complain to me about clients who don’t refer them and COIs who never refer back. They even gripe about getting junk referrals. Complaining about others instead of looking in the mirror is not going to fix the problem.
It’s time to look at yourself and make a change.
A mentor once taught me that if you’re not happy with what you’re getting (i.e., referrals), it’s because of what you’re doing. And if you are happy with what you’re getting, it’s because of what you’re doing. Read that a second time and look in the mirror.
Let’s start with your clients. How much time are you spending teaching them how to refer you? Or have you become complacent, expecting that simply because they work with you, they should know how to refer you? Typically, that alone doesn’t produce a swarm of referrals; if it did, you would have more referrals than you could handle. Clients might know what you do for them, but can they explain it to their friends? Do they know how to recognize an opportunity for you? Can they comfortably bring you up in a conversation?
Look in the mirror. It’s your responsibility to empower your clients to refer you effectively. I’m sure you’ve heard your clients say things like, “Sure, I’d be happy to refer you.” Or, “You’ve done such great things for me.” Or, “I don’t know where I’d be without you.” Many of them want to refer you and would be willing to but they simply don’t know how. You’ve got to make the change and educate your clients. Teach them what they need to know. Empower them to help the people they care most about by connecting those people to you.
What about those COIs who don’t refer back to you? Yes, it’s true, some of them need to be cut loose but that’s a different conversation. The first mirror to look in here is the one that will show you how you rate as a COI yourself. Think about the expectations you have for your COIs. Perhaps you want them to be responsive and return your calls quickly. Maybe you want them to be willing to meet with you once a month or once a quarter. Some advisors want their COIs to keep them in the loop with the referrals they’ve given. Would you like them to attend your firm events? No matter what it is, your expectations are only valid if they know about them and you’re willing to do the same things in return. Are you the best COI that you can be? If not, then make a change.
I know from coaching advisors like you that the best COI relationships are the ones that have the best communication. If you want better relationships and better referrals, don’t wait for them to suddenly “get it” and become your dream COI. Make a change. Start by assuming the leadership role in the relationship and create a foundation of good communication. Share your vision for the relationship and seek their input. Mutually agree and discuss how best to refer each other. For example, you shouldn’t assume your COIs know how to bring you up in the conversation or can easily recognize a referral for you. Plan to strategize regularly and focus on generating opportunities rather than reacting to opportunities that land in your lap.
Lastly, let’s address junk referrals. To be clear, these are the referrals you receive that you don’t want but feel obligated to keep. I understand. If you look in the mirror, I can tell you why this happens. It’s likely that your message is not clear to those who want to refer you. You might say that you only want certain kinds of referrals but then you turn around and accept referrals that are not in alignment with your words. When your words and actions don’t match, you create confusion and that leads to referrals you don’t want. To fix this, make a change. Create a message that is clear and consistent. Help people to understand why you want a certain kind of referral and be willing to help them get it right.
Here's the bottom line.
I want you to start with the person in the mirror I'm asking you to change your ways And no message could be any clearer If you wanna get referrals from clients and COIs Take a look at yourself and then make a change
(Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Enjoy the earworm for the rest of the day.)
Michelle R. Donovan and Patty Kreamer own Productivity Uncorked LLC where Michelle (Referral Coach) and Patty Kreamer (Productivity Coach) offer a one-two punch to help financial advisors build strong, profitable relationships using DiSC, get more done in their day and improve the quality of their referrals. Email Michelle at [email protected] to learn more.
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