Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
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Dear Bev,
My partner and I are at a crossroads in our advisory firm. For years we have been in sync about our values and culture, how we should grow and even the people we have hired to join our team. In the last few months, though, he has become aligned with some radical political philosophies.
He will pontificate in team meetings on immigration (we have a couple of employees whose families came to the U.S. in recent times who are very offended by this). He will ask people to sign petitions on all sorts of things. Every single conversation we have, he turns to some phraseology that makes me out to be a liberal nut. I’m actually quite moderate in my views, but I am protective of our team, so I don’t agree with his vocal views, especially in a public forum, and especially where I know they are offensive to other staff members.
I have tried the “discussion over coffee” approach to ask him to tone down a bit, and have tried having one of our more trusted employees who he respects talk with him privately. I have chosen to leave the whole thing alone hoping it will run its course, but nothing is working.
It’s a twofold issue for me – I personally don’t agree with many of the things he is saying so I am unable to support him. I don’t want to get into public debates over this, but I also see the impact he is having on the firm. We have 17 people here, so we are not a tiny operation, and if we have some of our better people leave because they are offended, it would have a huge impact.
This entire situation is frustrating because we had such a good thing for so long. He was never this extreme in anything – it has come out of nowhere and I don’t know how to get us back onto the track we were on. I have always trusted his views and his knowledge is unparalleled. I can’t see separating or dissolving the firm, but I can’t watch our good people walk out the door either. Do you have any other ideas on what I could do to tone him down or get us back to where we were before?
Anonymous
Dear Advisor,
These are interesting times, for sure. Most of us grew up being taught, “Don’t talk politics or religion unless you want a fight” but no one could have predicted just how divaricated we could become! The different views are separating family members, long-time friends, and – in the case you outline here – business partners, too.
So, you can’t close your eyes and hope it gets better, but you also have to tread carefully. As you point out, when someone is dedicated to their viewpoint, and has entrenched their position on any given topic, trying to argue, cajole or convince seldom works to move their opinion. In fact, in many cases these behaviors only serve to deepen the person’s viewpoint. I often refer to this as the “dance” people get into. He vents, on whatever topic, you push back on how hurtful his comments might be to the team, he perceives you as liberal and wrong, you push back and you are only defending the team, and he sees you as liberal and wrong, etc. etc. etc. You can expect the next step the person will take, but you can’t seem to get them to try a different dance move.
Given your role as a leader in the firm, there are a few things you could try to work through this situation. Before I suggest some options, I will caution you – you can only do this if deep down, you personally believe you can tolerate and live with his behavior. If you harbor strong negative feelings, or think he is a jerk for his behavior, this will eventually come through and will be noticed by your employees. So, if you don’t think you can manage through it, you might want to seek counsel with a lawyer or business consultant to talk through your legal and business options.
If you want to try and make it work, the following could be helpful:
- Stop fighting. Let him vent, say what he wants to say, speak out in whatever manner he does, and then as soon as he is done, just turn the topic and conversation to something business related. This would go as follows: You are all in a meeting, the agenda calls for you to talk about client retention, he starts to talk about immigration or energy or abortion, you let him say his piece, then you say, “So, let’s return to the topic of client retention. I was thinking we might institute a process whereby we make outgoing calls to our top 50 clients every quarter. What do others think could be helpful?” Often you can minimize the impact simply by refusing to acknowledge and moving on to the business at hand.
- Sit down with him and review the vision, mission and cultural mores for the firm. If you haven’t done this in a while, now would be a perfect time. For example, is “respecting one another” one of your cultural mores? If so, you might point out that, as leaders, you both need to walk the talk and being overly negative, or critical, is not respectful to your employees. If there is a way to remind him and have him affirm what matters, you might be able to link his behavior and show where it is inconsistent with what you both agree to be meaningful.
- Along the lines of point #2, ask him if he would be willing to agree to disagree. Suggest that neither of you bring strong views into the firm on any given topic that isn’t directly related to the clients, and the business at hand. Perhaps you could shake hands and recommend that he go to breakfast meetings with like-minded people, or join a cause or carve out a certain number of hours each week out of the office to devote to his political viewpoints but that once you both walk through the door, you agree neither one will promote an agenda. I realize this is hard because the business IS the two of you, but agreeing you will keep these viewpoints out of the workplace, but will parlay them elsewhere, could be useful.
Dear Bev,
Do you think it is valuable to have an outside facilitator at a team meeting when there are only five people in attendance? My partner is pushing this at our next advisory firm meeting and I do not see justifying the cost for this.
J.K.
Dear J.K.,
Will there by topics that are third-rail type issues to discuss? Have you had meetings in the past where you hoped to accomplish something and got off track without doing so? Do any of the five team members have conflict with one another? Are you clear what the facilitator’s role could be and what success would look like as an outcome to the meeting?
A facilitator can be very beneficial whether it is two people talking or a large group trying to reach goals. Often times an outsider listens differently and may ask questions others don’t think of, or would not be comfortable asking.
But in order to be successful, the facilitator must be clear on what you are trying to accomplish and where the landmines might be in the team, if there are any. If you do decide to hire someone, make sure you partner with them to ensure they understand exactly what you are trying to accomplish and the process you want to take to get there.
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry in 1995. In 2008, she co-founded Advisors Trusted Advisor to offer dedicated practice management resources to advisors, planners and wealth managers. She is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate students Leadership & Social Responsibility. Beverly is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including the Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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