Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
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Dear Bev,
Do you have any tips on the best way to coach and mentor someone who is the heir apparent in my firm? I have a young man who is sharp, highly credentialed and very good with clients. The problem is he rubs people in the firm the wrong way.
We have 13 team members and he is going to be my successor in 5-7 years. He and everyone else knows it. He has become too ego-centered around this eventuality. I am fielding complaints pretty regularly from other team members. I encourage them to work directly with him, but I’m not sure he really listens to what they are saying and he makes it all about them and their problems.
I need to mentor him in this area but I’ve always been able to work well with my staff so trying to help him is challenging for me. Any tips on how to get through to him more effectively?
S.Q.
Dear S.Q.,
It’s amazing, isn’t it, how much we are taught from a technical learning perspective but how little when it comes to understanding people and managing others’ behavior? Your struggle is not uncommon – finding a great person with the right skills and the right knowledge and then finding out that they can’t work with others.
Lately, in my work with clients large and small, I’ve had a number of discussions about aptitude and attitude versus skills and knowledge. There is a line of thinking that you can train to the skills and knowledge, but having someone “wired” with the wrong attitude and aptitude is harder to shift. In the case of financial advisory work, you do need a credentialed person, you do need someone with the right pedigree and background, but you also have to pair it with the right attitude and approach to working with others.
In this case, you have your successor in the seat. Take some steps to help him recognize his behaviors and how they are impacting his own career path. That’s the way to frame the discussion. Some people will reject the idea that others are impacted, but when you turn it to how it might impair their own career journey, they might take an interest in changing. When you frame negative behaviors in the “look at the impact you had on that person and how it hurt their ability to do their job,” the person might naturally become defensive – “it’s not me, it’s them!” but if you say, “you have a great career ahead of you here, but you are interrupting your own trajectory with some of the behaviors you are currently choosing, let’s look at some other options to get what you need,” the focus is on the person and they tend to open up a bit and listen.
Once you have him opened up and listening, try some of the following:
- Be careful about how you convey what he is doing vis-a-vis the way you have done it, or would do it. Often times when managers coach someone, they talk in terms of what worked for them. This is fine if your behavioral styles, background, education, experiences, etc. are all exactly the same. Most times they are not. Others cannot “hear” us when we talk in our view, not their own so be sure you are engaging him in a way that allows him to hear and understand.
- Be specific about the behaviors and what you’d like him to do differently. Instead of “your ego is really turning off the staff, try and tone it down,” use language like, “when you gave Cheryl that client report you used a very degrading tone of voice. I don’t know if you realized it but she was focused more on your tone than the words you were using. Be aware of how you are presenting information, not just what you are presenting.”
- Keep it timely. If you refrain from allowing issues to build up so that then they become one big issue (i.e. becoming “too ego-centered”) you will gain more ground making behavioral changes. When something seems too large to handle – “change who you are!” people can’t make shifts. It is daunting to do so. When you give them bite-sized pieces, at the time of the issue, they can see it, understand it and perhaps recognize it next time.
- Help him to understand the expectations of a leader in your firm. It’s possible he thinks he is doing a good job. You might want to take the time to lay out your cultural values, beliefs around how people should be treated, any relevant teaming components, etc. Help him understand what success looks like.
Dear Bev,
How the heck do you respond when a valued client asks who I voted for in the last presidential election? I know for sure I voted for the opposite candidate than this client did. I flubbed and changed the subject but I’m sure it will come back up again in one of our next meetings.
A.C.
Dear A.C.,
Ah, the hot potato that is today’s political scene. We’ve always been taught not to mix politics and religion with business but never have the fires been so hot around these issues.
I recently had my own experience trying to navigate this topic and found there are no good (or easy) answers so it really comes down to personal preference.
If you know you will alienate the person and you don’t want to be honest with him or her, you might actually want to flub a little. No, I’m generally not a proponent of lying – I tend to prefer authenticity – but these are challenging times and people are very volatile so you have to decide what risk you are willing to take. Agreeing and moving on to the issues at hand (managing their financial life) could be one option.
Another option is to be authentic and tell the truth. Say you can agree to disagree and you value them and their opinion but you differ in your political views. The response to this will of course depend on your client. Some people are mature and educated and open-minded and can say, “I understand” and others will rail against you, argue with you, try to convince you of the error of your ways and potentially fire you as a result!
The last option is also a bit of a flub but you could say you lean toward Libertarian views and voted for the third party candidate. You could quote an article from the Chicago Tribune which offered non-affiliated people hope: “Can either win? Not this time. But that's no reason Americans disgusted with the major party choices have to settle on either. It's not ‘wasting your vote,’ as the old bromide says, to cast a ballot for a long-shot candidate because he or she offers something valuable that mainstream candidates don't. Attracting voters is how small parties get bigger.” (Chicago Tribune Editorial, July 6, 2016). Say you are a fan of the little folk and you believe politics has become too bifurcated and you’d prefer to see more options for future elections.
Ultimately you have to decide what’s right for you – there are no easy answers in today’s climate to this issue for financial advisors who disagree with their clients’ viewpoints!
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry in 1995. In 2008, she co-founded Advisors Trusted Advisor to offer dedicated practice management resources to advisors, planners and wealth managers. She is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate students Leadership & Social Responsibility. Beverly is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including the Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here. 
