Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
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Dear Readers – I have received several questions about advisors unable to behave appropriately during this stressful time. This relates to emotional intelligence (EQ), so I am posting them and with one answer to all.
Dear Bev,
I recognize some things that weren’t a big deal before this crisis are magnified. I am keeping this in perspective. But I lead a very successful advisory practice and have been appalled at the behavior of some of my senior advisors during this time. I have one with a home in Hilton Head. He fled the city to stay there. During our team calls, he references being out on his bike and enjoying the island, or playing a game of golf on his golf course. I have younger team members and they are all scared and stressed about what is happening. Sending the message that everything is alright and we should be enjoying ourselves is not helpful. Is there a tactful way I can tell him see he isn’t being very considerate of our team right now? – G.M.
Dear Bev,
One of my senior advisors (“Lucy”) is an older woman who lives alone. She has never married nor had children and took care of her aged mother for many years before she passed away three years ago. She is the classic “married to the job” person. We live in a place where we are under strict orders to shelter-in-place. We have to visit our office to collect mail and take care of in-office things. But I have created a schedule so that no more than two people are there each day and only during scheduled hours.
I have a responsibility to my team and to our community to keep them safe. Every single day a team member goes in, Lucy is sitting at her desk making calls and doing her work. She says she is lonely and bored at home and feels better in the office. You might say she could be the one to pick up the mail and do the administrative things necessary. But when I suggested this, she refuses to do “menial work” and says she is continuing to do the important work of advising.
How do I help her see that she needs to obey the directive to stay home and, if she isn’t going to do so, she needs to be the one taking care of the office?
G.E.
Dear Bev,
I have a strong contributor and successful advisor who has never been my favorite person because of his very vocal and negative view of certain politics that are in opposition to the way I think. I don’t judge people and I certainly don’t get into debate.
But one of my junior advisors brought to my attention that this senior person has been using the term “Chinese flu” to describe what’s happening. If that isn’t bad enough, he has done it with two of our clients of Asian descent (one family is one of our largest clients with over $2.5 billion under management). The clients seem to have shrugged it off. But I was knocked off my chair when this junior advisor told me she had heard the discussion directly.
Is there a way to share the inappropriateness of this without wading into political waters with my advisor? I am on eggshells trying not to upset or offend anyone given our stress levels. But it infuriates and saddens me.
B.C.
Dear G.M., G.E. and B.C.,
Thank you for writing and I hope you understand why I have combined your questions so I can share one broad answer. They all fall under the category of emotional intelligence, sometimes called emotional quotient (EQ). While the situations are most certainly different in the way they are playing out, and I respect the difficulty each of you are having figuring out how to deal with these advisors, the underlying diagnosis is the same – lack of EQ among your advisors, especially during times of trouble.
In some of the training I do I like to share a quote that appeared in a study published by the CFA Institute for consumers entitled, The Value of Premium Wealth Management. The entire study is excellent, but I like to share one quote:
In other words, advisers must have technical expertise, or IQ, to understand the dynamics of different financial products and solutions and how they can be integrated into a strategic financial plan. But they must also have emotional intelligence – or EQ – empathy, and a solid grounding in behavioral finance. This awareness can steer through the human impulses that affect decision making and can derail progress towards objectives.
In an industry that has largely valued IQ over all else, we need to understand the importance of teaching advisors EQ – empathy, knowing themselves and understanding of the human condition (my words, not the CFA Institute’s). Recognizing how one comes across, how the words we use might land with our listener and how we are role models each and every day for those junior people and other team members is critically important for any senior-level professional.
Unfortunately, because we manage to “the numbers” – as long as the assets go up, and fees are good and the market cooperates, many senior managers/advisors will choose not to address bad behavior because they don’t want to rock the boat. This is perhaps oversimplifying, many lead advisors aren’t comfortable giving feedback, coaching to better performance and many senior advisors wouldn’t listen even if you did try and share a new way of doing things so it isn’t as easy as just doing it.
The studies on EQ over many decades tell us that while some people naturally possess a leaning toward natural empathy and self-awareness, it can also be learned by those who do not have it innately. When you observe people doing the things outlined in all three of these inquiries, there are a few steps to take:
- Approach them with an air of curiosity rather than one of accusatory. “When we had our call and you mentioned bike riding, what do you think the younger advisors might have been thinking about your comments?” Then stop talking. Allow the person to respond. “When you state you won’t do any of the menial tasks when you are in the office, how do you think other advisors or team members take this?” Then stop talking. “When you use a term like ‘Chinese Flu’ with our Asian clients, what do you think they might be thinking when they hear this?” Then stop talking. I will warn you: You are not likely to have people immediately see the light and respond with, “WOW! I never thought about how I was impacting others!” People with low EQ don’t think this way. You are only asking the question to invite a conversation and have them take a minute to think about it.
- Share your views. If someone else has shared concern, mention this. If you are uncomfortable with it, mention this. You can tell your advisors “I’m sure it isn’t your intention to offend/insult/upset, but it is the end result of your actions.” Most people who act in unpleasant ways do not have negative intention. But their actions play out negatively, so you have to avoid accusing someone of their feelings, or intentions and focus on the result of their actions. Tell them they don’t have to agree with the result, but they have to see it has impacted another person.
- To increase an advisor’s overall EQ, ask how they think team members and clients are generally feeling and reacting to what’s going on. Most people with low EQ will start off by being dismissive. But help them to understand there is fear, worry and abject terror on the part of some. It might be right or wrong in others’ eyes, but you can’t argue with someone’s emotions. Ask these advisors what specific steps they could take – by what they say or do – to help calm the fears. Ask them what actions would be most useful and helpful. If you can help them understand someone else’s feelings, it might open their eyes. I do a session with advisors on why clients are “difficult” at times and help them see difficult emotions are almost always based on fear. In every case, advisors tell me they have never considered the source of the difficulty could be fear so try and help your advisors “see” the view from another position.
The more you guide and support your advisors to develop these skills, rather than criticizing or ignoring their actions, the stronger they will be as client-facing people now and going forward.
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry in 1995. The firm also founded and manages the Advisors Sales Academy. She is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate and graduate students Entrepreneurship and Leading Teams. Beverly is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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