Dealing With a Messy Acquisition

I’m one of only two women in the group, and I am a “yes” person. I have taken on so much responsibility for too many pieces of this that I am completely exhausted, overwhelmed and unhappy with my work. I hardly get to spend time with clients because I oversee all the facilitation of discussions with the advisors.

I am a working mother with my husband a stay-at-home-dad. He does a wonderful job with our two kids. But it’s getting so that I barely have time for them. I get to do a good-night story and then am back online trying to coordinate discussions.

I am not sure what my question is. You can’t help us fix the problems with the advisors, but maybe you can give me some insight into how I could be more effective and gain back my sanity.

R.U.

Dear R.U.,

Phew! Reading your note has me a little bit stressed out too. I am practicing my deep breathing while I write your response. Lately it seems everyone I talk to and work with in our profession is underwater, overwhelmed and generally trying to figure out how to get it all done. It doesn’t matter if the firm is small or large, it seems like “the mad scramble” is the mantra. It’s unfortunate because, as you outline in your note, one can only sustain this pace for so long and then it catches up – either physically, emotionally or with family and friends becoming disconnected and discouraged. That said, it’s not like the work doesn’t need to be done. So what are the answers? You are right, without knowing exactly the situation at your firm and what you are striving to do, I can’t offer good business suggestions with confidence. But I can give you some guidance for your specific situation.

1. “Yes” people often tell me they want to stop being yes people. But instead of saying “no” the next time, they say “yes” again! Consider what is underneath this cycle for you. Are you concerned about not being seen as a team player? Do you think if you are not involved, things won’t go as well in the end? Do your colleagues abdicate responsibility, and you think you have to step in? It’s useful to examine what pushes you into the “yes” answer. Many people are people-pleasers, but there could be other factors given the complexity of your situation. You might feel you have something to prove (imposter syndrome is a thing), you might not want to disappoint someone, or you might think you are the only one who can make this work. If you can identify your drivers, see them in action and how they push you to get yourself into trouble, so to speak, you can start to say “no” when you recognize the triggers.

2. If you are going to drive this, you need to set parameters, deadlines and goals. You have to tell your colleagues these discussions cannot go on indefinitely. You are creating a plan and they have to stick to it, or you are no longer coordinating. Then make the plan. Identify an outside date, the steps needed and assign tasks to people who are not you along the way! Put more rigor into the process so your teammates adhere to getting it done instead of letting these decisions languish. Establish ground rules for making the decisions, which can include rotation of leadership so you are not the only one working on these things.

3. Practice stress management. Yes, I know – how is that going to help with any of this? But it does. Learn to take one minute to breathe deeply. Step outside into the world for two minutes to look around and remember there is a huge world. Stretch, do yoga, run or walk the dogs for just 15 minutes. When someone gets overwhelmed, as you are, they tend to spiral and forget about self-care. When they do think of self-care, they take time for a massage, a hike or a long soak in the tub. All these things take time, so they don’t happen. It feels too indulgent when you also have a spouse and children you care about. Slip in the self-care. Do something several times throughout the day, and you’ll find you can focus better and don’t feel quite so unhappy.

4. Schedule time on your calendar for your family. Find out when there is a volunteer opportunity at school, or your child has a birthday party to go to, or there is a town/city day at the park. I know your spouse is handling all of this, but I believe strongly you are going to regret not simply making the time to be more involved and engaged. It doesn’t have to be several hours a month. Find a 30-60-minute activity once a month for each of the children and commit to doing it.

5. And last but certainly not least: Schedule time on your calendar for clients. Time block this in your favorite color and schedule in advance. Clients who don’t call you can get missed, and you probably like the work because of the clients. Make time for them. They are the center of everything, and your statement that you hardly spend time with them is deeply concerning. Schedule it. When you put something on the calendar, you can make it real and non-negotiable. Take charge of your time like this so you are doing things you care about along with helping solve the problems for the company!

Dear Bev,

What is going on in our profession? I keep hearing a recession is coming, the market is going to turn, and a mass exodus of talent from firms will occur. But all I see is push, push, push and do more, more and more. Our advisory firm is investing in new technology (three systems to be exact – implemented all at once). We hired a consultant to help us with marketing, because we are putting a big push on our brand and focusing on our ideal client. We are buying a building and moving offices even though we are on a three-day post-COVID schedule. I’m in office management, and I read the news and watch what we are doing, and I cannot reconcile what’s happening with our firm with what’s going on in the economy. Help me make sense of it.

O.A.

Dear O.A.,

Be happy that you are in financial services, and especially the advisory profession, right now. Things are going well! Most of my clients had their best year in 2022 and are on track for an even better year in 2023. There is a lot of money in motion, selling of businesses, inheritances and all the things that make our profession go well. The market continues to cooperate and keep climbing and firms are doing well. It sounds like yours is included in this.

This doesn’t mean it isn’t prudent to prepare for a downturn, negative economic news or changes to the euphoria. It’s a balance. I’m wondering whether your leaders are thinking they should invest now and get the firm in the best shape possible and then be ready for whatever is coming next. They may be making strategic investments to position their firm better going forward.

There has been somewhat of a mass exodus. I know more firms seeking good talent than good talent seeking firms. It’s hard in our profession to find the best, especially those that are a good culture fit. If you are concerned your firm is paying too much to hire, it might need to do so to attract the talent.

My impression of what you are asking is that you might not understand enough about the decisions being made by your leaders, which means they aren’t communicating effectively about what they are doing. Pose your question to your leaders and see how they respond. It could make more sense than you think, and you could find yourself very happy to be on a forward-thinking, high-performing, winning team!

Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry, in 1995. The firm also founded and manages the Advisors Sales Academy. The firm has won the Wealthbriefing WealthTech award for Best Training Solution for 2022 and 2023. Beverly is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate and graduate students Entrepreneurship and Leading Teams. She is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).

She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.

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