When There’s Too Much Togetherness

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Dear Bev,

I work in a very busy financial advisory firm. We have a large number of clients, onboard new clients on a regular basis and, because of the complexity of the service we provide, it is often non-stop from Monday morning until Friday afternoon.

Our senior advisor just came back from a coaching offsite sponsored through our affiliated company and now he is all about teambuilding. He wants us to go out once a month and “do something fun together as a team”. His ideas are bowling, hiking, a pool hall and a scavenger hunt, to name just a few. These outings would be held after hours, or even on weekends, so we don’t interrupt the flow of our work.

We are a very close-knit team already. We like each other, we support each other and we have each other’s backs when needed. I trust my teammates implicitly and don’t see a need to bond with them more than I have.

My situation is not that dissimilar to a lot of my colleagues: I have a spouse and two small children. My personal time is my own and I cherish my family time. Several of my colleagues have families and one has elderly parents she cares for when not at work. She pays quite a bit for care while she is working and she must leave work right at 5 p.m. to get home to relieve the caretakers. None of us have a problem with this because we all want to get out by 5:30 or 6 after very busy days. We rarely take lunches and most of us come in very early to beat the traffic.

I get the fact our leadership is seeking ways to engage us, but I don’t get why we have to do it in this manner. We are tight, we are happy and we work very hard to make sure every client gets what they need right away.

I dread the idea of these outings and I know most of my colleagues do too. However, we’re afraid to say anything in case our leadership considers us to be difficult or not invested in the firm. If it were a one-off I’d say we’ll all go and just get it over with, despite the waste of time and money. But talking about doing this monthly makes my stomach hurt.

Is there a way to explain to him (without jeopardizing my job) that while we certainly appreciate the gesture, it just isn’t necessary?

A.G.